REFER TO GREY: Contemplations by Robert Greigos © 2007-2024

To have dominion over something is a craving that gnaws deep within the psyche of many humans, many human males, at least. We want the purity of complete uncontested unadulterated connection with something that is real, constant, somewhat daunting, somewhat unpredictable, intoxicatingly knowable, seductively amenable to, at least in part, being mastered. And, in being mastered, reliably reinforcing of our own self-worth.

It may be land, it may be empire. It may be a sport, it may be a musical instrument. It may be scientific or mathematical inquiry. It may be engineering a solution to a problem. It may be training an animal or nurturing a crop.

Or, it may be bullying someone we feel is less than. Or, exploitation of many whom we feel superior to. Or, destruction of those we feel threatened by.

We need it. We need dominion. We need to feel it, taste it, breathe it, grip it in our hands, hold it until it succumbs, bends to our will. Without dominion we are nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

But, craving dominion puts us in conflict, in conflict with everything and everyone around us and beyond us. And if she, whom we admire, frowns upon us, perhaps, perhaps in conflict with our very selves.

Smash them in the face. Smash her in the face. Smash everything and everyone in the face. Smash even ourselves in the face, too? I don’t know. I don’t know.

We need dominion. Without dominion we are nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

And after, after we have smashed everyone in the face, smashed her in the face, smashed ourselves in the face, what then? Is there life after smashing everyone in the face? Is there something, something that satisfies our need for dominion, that gives us satisfying reliably reinforcing self-worth?

No, probably not. Perhaps we need dominion over something that keeps us out of conflict with others, that maybe even complements and reinforces the dominion of others without lessening our own dominion. Two, three, a hundred, a million, even a billion dominions all without conflict? Wow. That would be something. All in harmony, and reinforcing of each other. Overlapping, intertwining, intermingling. Is that even possible?

I don’t know. But maybe, maybe.

Maybe that is something I can do? That you can do, too? That we can do together?

I don’t know.

Yes. I think, yes. It’ll be great, really great. You wait. It’ll be great, really really great. Even she will think so.

She will see and she will say, “Selfishness is not great. It is not. But, coordination and complementation are. Yes, they are.”

And I will feel good about myself, because I will have dominion over something, something that will also have good consequence for others. Yes, I think, that will be good, very good.